itsadrizzit: Amy Pond from Vincent and the Doctor (Default)
This is a short chapter, but I think it's an important one. We get to see the first interplay between the three major players. We get just a hint of backstory for Jo as well as a peek into the past of Jo and Nate. In addition, Anders' conflicting feelings kind of fill me with glee (because I'm a mean, mean writer) and Nate being downright awful in the sexiest way possible is a little hot, even to me, and I wrote it.

The bits at the beginning about Anders not being able to sleep weren't in there originally., but I had a discussion (or watched someone else have a discussion, idek anymore) about the warden dreams and how they might affect mages differently than others and how Anders is basically really messed up anyway so probably nightmares about darkspawn aren't a thing he deals with well, so I thought I'd write in a bit of a throughplot about Anders coming to terms with all the new stuff that comes along with being a warden.

Chapter 4: The Dance )
itsadrizzit: Amy Pond from Vincent and the Doctor (Default)
Anders and company meet Nathaniel Howe in this chapter. Which is where the plot thickens because Anders basically finds Nathaniel sex personified. Plus some of Anders' past baggage starts coming out. This is one of my favorite early chapters, and I particularly like how parts of it came out after editing. On suggestion/request I added in a bit more with Hawke and that bit turned out to be super impactful to me anyway, so I'm glad I added it. I sort of love Nate and the way Anders interacts with Jo and the way Anders starts getting all conflicted here. This is where we start sliding into the conflict of the story and I'm pretty proud of how it goes at the start. I hope you enjoy

Chapter 3: Nathaniel )
itsadrizzit: Amy Pond from Vincent and the Doctor (Default)
I intended on posting these once a week until I caught up with the place where I was still editing. But I should know better than to try to do anything on a schedule.

Here's the somewhat arbitrary and weirdly lighthearted description I wrote for this chapter: "Anders learns a bit more about what it means to be a Grey Warden. He's still not sure he likes it, but at least he manages to get in a bit of flirting while he's stuck there."

That pretty much sums it up, but it's just odd. Odd how I never seem to make the descriptions match the tone.

Anyway, I was told via review that the original iteration of this chapter is where I noticeably settled into the story and found my "pace". I hope I didn't ruin that with the revisions. On a suggestion, I once again added in some interruption and added material with Hawke. I promise that's not going to be an every chapter thing. I don't think it comes back up again yet to the point where I'm done revising, and I'm just starting chapter 10, so hopefully it's not going to get old. Other than that, I honestly don't have a lot to say about this, other than the fact that it's short. It's sort of the Grey Wardens 101 chapter. Character development. Setting the stage. Stuff like that. That's all I have to say about it, really.

Here it is:  Chapter 2: The Commander of the Grey )

itsadrizzit: Amy Pond from Vincent and the Doctor (Default)
The chapter summary for this reads thus: "The beginning of Anders story as he's captured for what he believes will be the final time and dragged to a castle overrun with strange monsters. The people he encounters inside may be even stranger, but he can't deny that the beautiful Grey Warden just might be the saviour he's been looking for."

Which may or may not be what this chapter is about, as I have not mastered the subtle art of summary as of yet.

I honestly don't remember what I was thinking or doing or feeling or whatever as I posted this chapter. I was working through the new book on editing and I remember that I went way overboard at first on the amount of stuff I cut out, such that I didn't even feel like this was the same chapter anymore. Which was good, in a way, but also bad. So I had to re-import the original and try again, this time being a lot more discerning, but not like protectively discerning about what to cut. Then I got to the end of the book where it encouraged me to use imagery and sense of place and feeling and appeal to the readers' senses. So I did, which is why this chapter, more than any that has been revised up until now, has like ridiculous over-the-top description of setting. I promise you it settles down to what I think are healthy levels after this. Then again, maybe you like this level of description and from now on you really wish I would describe the places more.

But Anders is telling this story and he gets to choose what details are important. Which is the beauty of this format, really. I get a lot more poetic license to break rules because it's a story within a story. Delightful.

Anyway, here's chapter 1. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1: Grey Wardens )


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October 2016

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